When you’re struggling through a difficult transition in life, how do you make space and honor all your emotions? Kris Carr, New York Times bestselling author, wellness activist, and 20-year stage IV cancer thriver was dealing with the pain of her dying father and a major change in her business when she realized that running from the grief was more exhausting than facing it. She shares lessons from her newest book, I’m Not a Mourning Person, like how to live in the magnificent gray, how to stop being so judgmental towards yourself, how to be curious and learn from your messy feelings, how to change your physiology (without kale), and how to create more ease in your life.
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1. Health isn’t the absence of disease. It’s the presence of vitality.
2. Live in the magnificent gray. You can be successful and unsuccessful, have stage four cancer and be healthy. You can be a life-loving human and still struggle. All those things are true. Make space at your table for it. That’s the practice.
3. We all have this opportunity to wake up and go back to sleep. Both of those things will happen, and that’s normal. So don’t judge when you go back to sleep. Don’t think you’re a failure. Just be curious about the human condition that you live in every single day. That spark can keep you on the path.
4. You can honor yourself by saying, “How am I feeling today? What are those feelings?” Instead of judging those emotions, welcome them. Our emotions are there to teach us.
5. Let yourself off the hook and say, “I can do this.” The more we’re able to be less grief-phobic, less averse to messy emotions, and more literate around the tough stuff, the easier it is.
6. Lower the bar so that you can ease in and be good to yourself. We’re for consistency and momentum, not perfection.
7. Go to the mirror, look at yourself and say, “I love you.” Start there. It’s the best thing you can do. All the kale in the world won’t change your physiology like that moment.
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