Jennifer Wallace on the Power of Mattering & How to Know You’re Always Enough
How can you stop putting your worth and value into your achievements? Jennifer Wallace, award-winning journalist, New York Times bestselling author, and cofounder of The Mattering Movement wanted to be the perfect mom to her kids – and then found out how her need for perfectionism could impact them. It sent her into an exploration of the relationship between high achievers, anxiety, stress, depression, and how to avoid passing that onto the next generation. She shares how to differentiate between healthy achievement and toxic achievement, how to make space for the meaningful relationships in your life, what small step you can take that’ll make a big difference in someone else’s life, and how to know you’re always enough.
Healthy achievers have a high level of mattering. They feel valued by their families, friends and community for who they are deep at their core. Most importantly, they’re depended on to add meaningful value back to their families, to their friends and to their communities.
We need people in our lives who we can be vulnerable to, who we can open up to, who we feel unconditionally loved and supported. Not only are they like a receptacle for our stresses and absorb the shocks of life’s ups and downs, but they also remind us of our values, our value, and our unconditional worth.
For our children we need to invest in our relationships outside of the home for their benefit.
When you understand that your self, your mattering, your worth and value is just as important as everyone else in your home – that’s not being selfish. It’s being a self-ist.
When we feel like we matter for who we are at our core, we show up to the world in ways that are so positive. We want to add value. We want to be a great neighbor. We want to achieve because we want to make a positive impact on the world.
Let yourself lean on other people. If we don’t accept help, if we don’t accept other people adding value to us, we interrupt that critical cycle of mattering.
Unlocking other people’s mattering makes us feel like we matter. It’s the human experience. It’s these small mattering moments that say, “I see you. I value you. And you add value to my life.” In any moment we could make someone feel like they matter.